early goodbyes & thank-you's

all that I've been given
is almost too much to bear
and so wonderful
it's overwhelming

abandoned and angry at everyone,
invited and overjoyed,
holding back and keeping to the reality,
picturing and letting my mind go,
excited and fulfilled

I expected it to be bliss
and meanwhile I knew
that I never could predict what
exactly
it'd be

I've loved it all
and everyone

I shall cry for sure
and that's healthy

it was a good decision.
I congratulate myself
-- for once