this morning at 3 am.

the third time is now

thrice

I knew him for 18 years,
then he was gone
-- altered

I saw him for 11 years,
now he is gone
-- asleep

I imagined him for these past days,
he will be gone
-- forever

he dies three times in my lifetime

rain on us

here's what happened tonight.

as I came out to the parking lot I saw
that it had begun to rain

it's summer, so no worry
I took my shoes off, put them in a shopping bag
and started walking to the car

a memory was triggered
a very good memory

then it was still bright
when the weather caught us,
today it was dark, it was night

here and then
hours apart, thousands of miles apart
but the rain, the rain was the same:
gentle
joyous
overwhelming

magnificent drops
like wet kisses

streets still warm from day's stern but loving grip
water steaming upwards to meet the drops coming down

as I drove to the house
and listened to the radio,
this song
this yet another memory
a very good memory
sprang to mind
"time on my hands could be time spent with you"

isn't it wonderful to remember!
isn't there lot to be thankful for.
"I guess that's why they call it the blues"

good colour

together in silence

alone at last
when the redbrick building closed for summer,
when the well-intended philantrophists
packed their bags and left,
when I paid the fees and fulfilled the requirements
there opened up a space
for me to breathe freely

alone with my thoughts
inviting you in;
inviting friends in

the near-insignificant acquaintances
(highly useful, highly temporary)
vanished, dissolved into air
as if - and indeed - as they never were there

my rooms are neat & tidy,
no need to clean after the entourage;
the circus of invisible men and disappearing acts
has moved town
so no stress,
my house is already sparkling clean and inviting
you in;
friends in

let us entertain each other
I have made a plan
of the great things that please us,
amuse us,
delight us so:
having two pots of tea for breakfast,
listening to radio all day long
and
and
and lieing on the bed, looking out the window,
marveling the world and each other
in silence
and alone at last

in complite solitude
I'm closer to you than in weeks
and I feel
so connected
alone