excitement in the morning

I was sitting on the floor,
reading the morning paper
(well, pretending to be reading)

she opened the card and read the text
first she was all quiet

and the first thing she said was
-Is this a joke?
with a soft, playful voice
And the reply, the obvious reply, was
-No...
with a quiet, smiling voice

then she was all quiet again

and tears came strolling down her cheeks
she stood there
then she took a few steps, kneeled next to me
and put her arms around me

her warm tears soaked the back of my t-shirt

it was all quiet

I turned and gave her a handkerchief
her arms still around me
and mine now around her

-Well, you haven't said anything yet...
What's your reply?

chuckle

-Yes.

the answer is yes

tomorrow morning it's time

come closer my amazing one
to hear me whisper
'Would you?'

come, sit here next to me
to see me gaze
into your eyes
to feel me touch
your hand

like it was the first time
like it was the last

wanting us never to end
but
knowing how we will
so
holding on to Now

tomorrow morning it is time
to declare it, set it free:
the will and determination
to have forever Now
with you

my amazing one

inspired by a list published by a friend on his blog
here's one of mine in December 2005.
perhaps I should do this regularly?
or would that be repetitive thus boring?

---
some things I like

- photography
- chocolate
- touching
- singing loud alone at home
- honest smiles
- watching creatures enjoy running (like small children and dogs esp.)
- feeling I have hope
- sensing good things to come in my chest (it's like a tender squeeze)
- warm water
- packing
- planning
- making lists of all sorts

weather diary

it's so beautifully cold outside
the moon shines into my eyes just like the sun
I'm blinded

my cheeks are flushed and nose is read
frozen breath on my lashes

I long to share this with you
with you who are you

the sky is purple and pink
thick with fog and magical
I'm awed

almost

I'd be completely
if you were there
to spur me on

if you if you who are you

together

tonight I feel hopeful and there's joy in me
(propably due to the holidays approaching)

tap, tap, tap
...that's a song in my chest,
underneath my heart and above my belly

I let it out as I go about my chores

but it's not all happy, there's a hint of gray
I'm constantly saddened

how I hope that one day
the tap is not a song
it is a person
;or if not in me then at least to be heard in her

they're planning to decide on my life next spring
-- I'm worried they'll take it away from me
she keeps saying it'll be fine
but I don't believe her

she's younger than me, which might be the reason
;she's just not here yet, here with the rapidly aging me

yes, there are ways
-- like living in exile!
but I refuse to accept that the country I love,
my country,
would actually drive me away from my home
just to fulfill my destiny

our destiny

the sparkle of light
in all of this pain
is the undoubtable fact that she has agreed
to go throught it together with me

my plea

come, enclose me in your arms
hold me, keep me warm

say it's ok to crumble

let's not speak more
let's not even sing to cheer me up

I'm so tired I feel sick,
my mouth is made of cardboard
pressure behind my eyes,
iron mask on my head weighs a ton

I'm not made of steel and will never be,
no matter what they say and want to believe
I'm human

I long to turn into sand and scatter across the desert

come, numb me
lull me to sleep

still no final word

after waiting weeks on end;
waiting, asking, and receiving news
-- but nothing final, no conclusion;
today: it's a matter of hours
I was promised,
and I'll hold to that

chills go through me
I sit so straight like on a stick
motionless shell, core in turmoil

the more you say you're confused,
the more I want to come for consolation

but it's not me who makes that decision
and it's not me to say what's right
well, there are plenty of reasons why it'd be great!
not just one

so I keep waiting

postcards from Here

serenity in serendipity;

finding tranquility & peace
in finding wonderful things
not sought for

-- now there's a goal in life

it took me seven years to get here
and here is good
Here I am

but I keep on my cyclic procession;
passing you by,
stopping to chat, offering words of experience
wishing you clairvoyance
-- it will get easier, you shall see

we are individuals, all and all
but we share one thing in common:
the cycle, it's one